She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
