Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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