fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize