R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
