I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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