Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
