Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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