Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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