So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize