# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
