i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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