I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
