When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
