Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
