Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
