you turned your livingroom into a bong?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
