people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
