The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize