You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize