he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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