Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize
