hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
