After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
