im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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