I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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