i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
How external is "for external use only"?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
