NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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