Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
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Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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