Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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