I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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