So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
