I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
