I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
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I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
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I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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