Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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