the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
