I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
