I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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