is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
