We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
