if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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