yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
operation harelip BJ is a go
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
