He kissed a someone with a penis
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
