How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
