I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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