I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
sarcasm needs its own font
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
