I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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