It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize