you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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