i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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