You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
