The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
