apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
