i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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