our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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