mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Operation Purity has been aborted
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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