he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
