i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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