Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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