Betty ford says i'm here all night
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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