So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
