The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
